So Blessed

TEST ME IN THIS," SAYS THE LORD ALMIGHTY, "AND SEE IF I WILL NOT THROW OPEN THE FLOODGATES OF HEAVEN AND POUR OUT SO MUCH BLESSING THAT YOU WILL NOT HAVE ROOM ENOUGH FOR IT."- MALACHI 3:10

Oh how I love my life. I am blessed beyond measure. The Lord has poured out so much blessing I feel on my life that some days it feels my heart's not big enough to contain it all. I feel honored that i can actually say that and mean it for there have been seasons of my life this wouldn't have been true. Yesterday Elli Kate woke up from her nap a little fussy so I picked her up, wrapped her in her blanket, and went out on the porch and sat. It had started to rain so she and I just sat there listening to the rain. She rarely just sits in my arms and lays her head on my shoulder but yesterday she did. She layed against my chest with her head on my shoulder just watching the birds and listening to the rain. I quietly began telling her about why Jesus made the rain and how he gives the earth rain exactly what it needs when it needs it and does that for us as well. I wish I could just capture that moment and put it in a bottle and save it forever and ever. Its moments like these that wish she'd stay little forever.

She's growing up so fast it blows me away. She's now 15 lbs, in size 3 diapers, and just started rice cereal. She now has blessed her mom (and daddy cause mom's happier) by sleeping through the night. She loves holding her spoon and toys and loves to kick and splash in her bath at night. She sleeps best when her SING OVER ME cd her Aunt Beck gave her is playing. That cd is magic! She's so much fun. Michael and I have a blessed life and are so greatful for what the Lord has provided.

Road Trip to Oxford

Michael, Ek and I drove to Oxford, MS on Monday for a family day. Oxford is about 2 hours from Jackson, so we had a great time of being together as a family. We got to see the Ole Miss campus and walked around the town square and shop. What a great day of just doing nothin but being together!

Free to Be a Joyful Mother Pt 2-Pam Thompson

Free to be a Joyful Mother Pt 2
Understanding versus Condescension

I. Understanding

A. Hebrews 4:15-16 “For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin. Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.”

B. “Sumpatheo”~ the Hebrew word for “sympathize” or “empathy,” meaning with them in suffering. We have a God who sympathizes with our weaknesses, so why can’t we understand our children’s weaknesses in the same way.

Genesis 16 tells of Hagar, who has run into the desert to cry after her son Ishmael is mistreated. The angel of the LORD (this one is Jesus) found Hagar and comforted her – Hagar says “You are the God who sees me.”

Whatever is going on in your home, believe that the Lord is present to our situation – He sees what is happening, the hurt or brokenness you are feeling, the frustration with the toddler who just will not sleep, the teenager who will not obey. Be comforted and know that our God sees. In this same way that he tenderly sympathizes with us, we need to strive to sympathize with our kids. Let them know, “I know it must be hard. I get it. What are you thinking about this?” Be their soft place to fall by sympathizing with their mistakes or weaknesses.

II. Condescension

A. 1 Peter 5:2-3 “Be shepherds of God’s flock that is under your care, watching over them—not because you must, but because you are willing as God wants you to be; not pursuing dishonest gain, but eager to serve; not lording it over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock.”

B. “Katakurieuo”~ the Hebrew word for “lording it over”
Condescension is the opposite of empathy or sympathy – it means to look down on someone. Pam points out that it is so easy to remind our kids of things they should do or how they should act just because they are “good Christian kids”, when what they really need rather than having mom or dad look down on them for a wrong behavior, is to see those behaviors lived out in our own lives.

III. Reflecting Understanding or Empathy

Empathy is the process of understanding and reflecting your child’s feelings and thoughts. This does not necessarily require pity or a lecture, and definitely does NOT require you to agree or condone their actions. But, it does require you to put your own feelings, reactions, or opinions on hold while you put yourself in your child’s shoes.

Pam's tip: Never act surprised when your kids tell you something because fear of your reaction may keep them from coming to you next time. Let your consequences be the heavy and you are free to be understanding and empathetic.

IV. The Developmental Stages
(in terms of empathy~understand where they are at developmentally)

a. Infant/ Toddler Stage (0-2)
The key to this stage is bonding. Their environment is their reality and any changes in that environment can alter their behavior for good or for bad.

b. Preschooler Stage (2-6)
Children in this stage are trying to figure out ‘Who am I apart from you?’ This is the time when separation anxiety may set in with a child who has ordinarily been secure. Boundaries are important. In this stage, their perception is their reality~make believe or pretend play is a part of this stage. As a parent, understanding these stages can help us empathize with where our children are coming from.

c. Elementary School Stage (6-12) (we will continue here on October 21st)

Free to Be a Joyful Mother-Pam Thompson

Pam Thompson is an amazing teacher/speaker who goes to Second Baptist Houston. A couple of years ago she'd spoke to the women of our church and called it "Free To Be a Godly Wife." Man did she kick me in the butt. I found this on our women's ministry coordinator's blog at the Katy campus of the notes of her recent talk. Wow. I needed this.

Free To Be A Joyful Mother -- September 30th
This week, Pam Thompson continued with her lesson on "Influence versus Control".
She gave 10 tips God shares with us from Genesis about the "perfect parent".

1. God is THE perfect parent, but look at us -- we still mess up. Give yourself some grace. God's mercies are new every day.

2. God is perfectly relational. Genesis 3:8 "Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the Lord God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day..." God came and walked in our world, He sent his Son to walk in our world - He is perfectly relational. Go to your child's world - get down on the floor and play blocks, eat lunch outside in the fort. God came to our world and our kids need us to go to theirs too!

3. God gave his children responsibilities. Genesis 1:28 "God blessed them and said to them, 'Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky and over every living creature that moves on the ground." Our children are never too young to take on some responsibility no matter how small the task.

4. God gives children choices.
a. Genesis 1:29 "The God said, 'I give you every seed bearing plant on the face of the earth and every tree that has fruit with seed in it. They will be yours for food.' ". God created this whole world and gave it all to us to enjoy and care for. He is a YES God - Be a YES parent. Obviously, there are things we have to say no to...but whenever possible say YES. YES to painting and play-doh, yes to building a fort with the freshly washed sheets, YES to helping make dinner or dessert, YES to extra sprinkles on the cupcake. Don't miss those opportunities to be a YES mom as God is to us with the world He created.

b. God gives his children opportunities to make decisions. Genesis 2:9, 16-17 "The Lord God made all kinds of trees grow out of the ground...and the Lord God commanded the man 'You are free to eat from any tree in the garden; but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat of it you will certainly die.' " Give your children opportunities to make decisions - do you want to do your homework now or have a snack and maybe start it in 45 minutes? Do you want to use the red or the blue toothbrush? It accomplishes the same goal, but allows them to feel they have some control over the decision. God gives us choices even though we don't always choose as He would.

5. God sets boundaries. Genesis 2:9, 16-17 Notice in the verse above, God set the boundary by saying "do not eat of the tree of knowledge of good and evil". However, its interesting to note that God didn't hoist the tree up out of their way to be sure they couldn't eat of it.

6. Let your children fail and stay calm. Genesis 3:8-9 "Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the Lord God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the Lord God among the trees of the garden. But the Lord God called to the man, 'Where are you?'. God is totally omniscient and omnipresent - he knew that his children were about to disobey and yet he didn't swoop in and rescue them. He allowed them to fail. After Adam and Eve had eaten of the tree, God didn't come storming in throwing out threats and punishments. He casually walked through the garden asking "Where are you?" God knew right where they were - but he remained calm asking "where are you? hows it going here?"

7. When mistakes are made, show empathy. Again, God came in with a gentle hand knowing the consequences they were about to receive would be hard.

8. Give consequences, not a lecture. God gave the ultimate TIME-OUT! He took Adam and Eve out of the garden for them never to return. He didn't lecture them, just lovingly pushed forward with firm consequences.

9. Allow them to have that same task in which they made a bad choice--over again. Often times, our kids will rise to the occasion when given the opportunity to have a "do over".

10. Encourage them to be dependent on God and independent of mom and dad. Genesis 2:24 "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh."

Lady at the Pediatricians Office part 2

I think you all remember my blog posting about the first time Michael and I took EK to the pediatricians office. The one where that lady yelled at us for not having our newborn in the waiting room?? Yeah that one. I decided today her cousin lives in MS and goes to my pediatrician here. First off I'd like to say how much I respect parents who consider other parents and the way they concider their personal space. For example yesterday Ek and I went to Walmart for groceries and were checking out. A little boy named Jonah (about 4 yrs) and his mom were behind us. Jonah came up to me and asked me about EK and was wanting to touch her and look at her. His mom quickly said, "Jonah you can look but don't touch her hands and face, please." I thought that was nice and thoughtful. I told Jonah and his mom he was more than welcome to check her out if he would like (cause she's pretty gosh darn cute if I do say so myself) and Jonah himself was pretty cool. I mean the kid was dressing up as his "Binkey" (his blanket) for Halloween. How creative is that? Kudos to the responsible, considerate mom.

Now to today. Elli Kate went to the DR for her 4 month checkup and shots. I walk in with EK in the stroller to the waiting room where there is a mom with a 7 year old and a 2 year old. We were the only people in there so we sit down and her two year old walks up to me and just stares at me. "Well hi there what's your name?" I say. No response. Okay she's shy that's cool. She then looks at EK and starts smiling (like her already cause she likes my kid and EK WAS wearing her leopard turtleneck with a mini skirt. Can you handle the cuteness???). But as we keep going she stands there and starts putting her hands all over Elli Kate's face, hands, poking her face and tugging her hair. Im thinking the mother is going to intervene at some point but doesn't so I say. "Sweetie you have to be gentle when you touch her cause she's still pretty small." No response and keeps doing it. Then this little girl figuires out she can CLIMB MY stroller and does so and then starts shaking it. WHAT. THE. HECK????? A little more sterner I say, "Sweetheart you can't climb on Elli Kate's stroller and shake it. (a little louder than normal) YOU COULD GET HURT IF YOU CONTINUE TO CLIME ON ELLI KATES STROLLER AND SHAKE IT." I up the volume a little more hoping again the mother will take a hint. Not so much. I pulled that kid off four times at the last time she held on and wouldn't let go. Honestly I was concerned for her safety and by this point she was getting really annoying. So I ask her mom (whose been engrossed in magazine) "Is this your daughter?" She tells me yes then goes back to the magazine. I was about to tell suggest her daughter for future reference could get hurt by climbing on strollers and shaking them when the nurse called her back. THANK. GOD. I don't get it. There's a difference between curiosity and just plain youre-not-supposed-to-do-that. Still a little blown away by that. Hopefully her six month will be less eventful.

multiple Updates pt 4/ Dallas Tri

Michael completed his ninth triathlon in Dallas on Sunday in preparation for his Iron Man in June 2010. Elli Kate and I flew from Tulsa to Dallas and met Michael, Katee, Tyler, Ian, and Bethany for the triathlon there. We had so much fun and Elli Kate got to see her Daddy race for the second time. It was rainy and cold to say the least and poor Michael had to swim in 55 degree water. He's a total stud finishing in 2hrs 48min beating his time from last year. We have now made it back to Mississippi having driven 7 hours in the rain last night and are loving being at home now! Elli Kate is exhausted and has now been napping for 2 and a half hours! We may never leave again. (Yeah right).

Multiple Updates pt 3/ Oklahoma #2